Love, death, and basil plants

lesley juarez — unsplash

Last summer, I moved into a tiny attic studio, and feeling bereft at the loss of outside space, bought a tonne of herbs to grow on the windowsill. The basil plant was the only one which didn’t die. It fast became the first thing I spoke to in the morning and the last thing I spoke to at night. I used it in everything and everyone commented on how delicious my food had become.

Overburdened by being in constant demand, my basil plant soon became lopsided and sparse, its verdant green leaves translucent with weakness. Those who had formerly sung…


a day in the life of a post lockdown luddite

thank you arno smit — unsplash

high
swam in my grotty local pool for the first time in 20 years! The man next to me was in full snorkel gear. FABULOUS.

low
cycled home in the freezing Spring sunshine and spent the evening in bed panicking that my first dose of the deadly ‘bloodclot vaccine’ did not work.

high
my feminist dating app is inundated with potent new arrivals: mostly half-vaxxed, newly divorced, unemployed, overwrought, overweight men. FABULOUS.

low
joined a business networking app for those ‘in the know’. Received 400 messages mostly from ‘financiers’ requesting my bank details and influencers peddling slimming tea.

high
went to…


I’m done with dating apps, I said to the empty room. From now on, I’m desperately seeking NO-ONE.

Alfred Rowe — Unsplash

I was standing there like a goon in my sports bra. He’d arrived 15 minutes early and the top I intended to wear was still hanging from the shower rail. Pour yourself some wine, I told him, but he followed me into the bathroom. Shit, now my socks are all wet — I HATE wet socks! I handed him a clean pair of men’s sports socks. Oh God, I’m not wearing THOSE, he said, then: Wow! You’re really thin, got a bit of a belly though…

He pulled off his wet socks and hung them on the radiator, bare feet…


Understanding and healing narcissistic abuse.

engin akyurt — unsplash

In the silence of your room
In the darkness of your dreams
You must only think of me
There can be no inbetween
When your pride is on the floor
I’ll make you beg for more
~ Shakespeare’s Sister

The internet is saturated with information on narcissism, so this article is not for the narcs, it’s for the empaths.

If you’re suffering from narcissistic abuse, you may have already come across such toxic labels as: gaslighting, stonewalling, love-bombing, devaluation, and triangulation. {If not, then I refer you to H.G. …


Take care, bye!

jonathan borba — unsplash

Hey, how’s things this week — any better?

I put my friend on speaker phone and stretched out on my battered yoga mat, my trusty companion during a year of lonely lockdowns, seasonal festivities, birthdays, bank holidays, and rainy Mondays.

My yoga mat’s seen and heard it all; the incessant crack of ice as I’ve blended one too many margaritas; the incessant crack of my skull when I’ve more than had my fill… but these chats with my faraway friend are undoubtedly its lockdown peak of the week.

Ugggh no- I’m on my 19th nervous breakdown here. You?

Same!

Pandem-induced…


F**k me, I said to Holly Golightly, what on earth do I do now?

JLO

No longer will I play the field. The field stinks, both economically and socially, and I’m giving it up.

~Holly Golightly.

My finger hovered over the ‘delete account’ button. After 20 years of dating and a fruitless year of ‘advertising myself’ online all I’d attracted was raging narcissists without a shred of humanity or compassion. It was at this precise moment that a new message pinged in: You have nice eyes :)

I clicked on his profile. He was a bespectacled man who listed ‘empathy’ as one of his interests. I rolled my eyes in disgust and was rewarded with…


Stop emotional thinking and beat the narc for good.

unsplash — christopher campbell

If I cut you off it’s because you handed me the scissors
~ Anon

If you’re an empath who’s just gone ‘no contact’ with a narcissist, you may think you’re home and dry. WRONG! Why? Because empaths can’t just switch off their feelings like a robot. The craving, fantasizing, romanticising, ruminating and what if-ing will linger long after you’ve blocked the narc’s number.

The missing piece of the puzzle, therefore, in healing the repetitive, toxic cycle of narc abuse is: curtailing emotional thinking.

Sounds simple enough. It’s not. Why? Again, it’s because you’re an empath.

A ‘normal’ person, prone to…


5 step recovery plan for narcissistic abuse.

unsplash — jairo alzate

Dark shadows of narcissistic abuse can follow us long after these destructive personalities have discarded us and slithered back into their holes…
~ Yancosky Moore

The best way to ‘fight back’ against a narc is to not fight at all. Your job is to recover and the only way to recover from narcissistic abuse is by shifting the attention away from them and onto you. Sounds simple, but it’s not. It’s counter intuitive for an empath to put themselves first and also NARCS ARE HIGHLY ADDICTIVE.

If you’ve been raised alongside narcissistic family members, you’ll likely have formed a strong…


a day in the life of a lockdown luddite

jlo

low:
woke up late looking like I’d had a perm, having tried to layer my hair with a pair of nail scissors in the middle of the night

high:
opened the blind to discover the monolithic scaffolding which has eclipsed my front view, and tortured me with daily construction noise for the past 6 MONTHS, has vanished

low:
forced to skip my morning coffee-jazz-yoga routine to attend my first ever pandem bullshi*t Zoom meeting

high:
successfully joined my first ever pandem bullsh*t Zoom meeting!

low:
disappointed to discover it was hosted by a used car salesman who wasn’t disguised as a…

JLO

UK based writer: self-help| satire| social commentary| short fiction. New website coming soon offering creative support, editing, proofreading.

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